I have mentioned my new man several times in my blogging since I met him and I have only known him a little over a week.
This morning we met for coffee and I saw a side of him that I hadn’t seen before.
We met through a social group and we sat next to each other until another guy bulldozed his way in between us. Then he started talking to some other women and I talked to the bulldozer guy.
I left early and he asked me why. I don’t remember why but I always have a list of a thousand things to do so that was probably why. (ADHD trait)
We exchanged phone numbers and I told him I thought he would be a good fit for my Nerium business.
Our first date was mostly about business but we shared a bit of personal drama also.
The next date was when we really clicked. The conversation was amazing. He actually gets me! Furthermore he likes the way I think! Oh my grapes and vines, I didn’t think anyone would ever get me! lol
Plus he is impressed that I have chosen to be celibate due to my honor of God. He says he is attracted to my heart not my body. (That may be partly due to the fact that I have learned how to not dress like a hooker if I do not want to be treated like one. Just saying…)
This morning I swear someone else was inside of him. (I was seeing horns popping out)
He tried to make me jealous saying that he had found the other two women that he had talked with at the social event very interesting.
They had also expressed interest in him. He is a successful doctor and a very sweet man so I did not find that surprising.
He also indicated that he would be busy on Valentines day with a homeless ministry he was involved in.
Then he kept trying to kiss me. I kept pushing him away.
When I came home I regurgitated the date. I wasn’t angry with him but I contemplated just how I was going to handle this. I wanted to kick him to the curb.
I told God if He wanted me to continue seeing this man He was going to have to handle this.
I thought about it some more and then had an “Aha” moment. I am getting those a lot more since I have been pursuing God like a sex starved nymphomaniac. They are the best.
If he was going to be busy on the 14th of February, I could be too. I sent him the following text.
“The more I think of it the more I am impressed that you are doing the homeless ministry on Valentine’s day. That gives me the freedom to accept one of the many invitations I have already received. You are SOOO CONSIDERATE!”
(DISCLAIMER – I haven’t received any invitations yet but my goodness it is only January 11th- I mean REALLY!)
Two minutes later a text came back “Can you talk?”
I refused saying I was busy and I was busy.
Two minutes after that he texted, “I have not agreed to work on Valentine’s day. I was just invited.”
I may have heard him wrong so I will give him that one.
An hour later I checked my messages and he said he wanted to talk to me about his daughter.
He got me there.
I called him.
The first thing I heard from him was “I’m sorry.”
“What?” I asked in surprise, moving to my bed because I thought I might faint.
He said it again.
This has got to be a freaking record for men! I have only know this man a little over a week and he is humble enough to say he is sorry not once but twice?!!
“Ok,” I thought, “I need to qualify this one.”
“You are sorry for what?”
“For manipulating you. That is what I used to do and I am trying to change that.”
I have one word for this man. “WOW!”
I could not be more impressed with him at this point. He tried to introduce fear into our relationship through the door of jealousy and I called him on it. Instead of running, fighting me or degrading me he took ownership for the wrong that he did and he said he was trying to change his behavior.
This opened up the door to me acknowledging the games I play and the manipulative crap I pull and believe me I have a full house in that department.
His humility just melted me this afternoon. I was a puddle on my bedroom floor and through his humility I became humble also.
Just a thought for those of us who think that fighting or fear is the way to win someone’s heart. I think this man could teach us all a lesson.
The other lesson that could be gleaned from this story is that if you have a problem with another person take it to God first. He is the one who is in the business of transforming hearts and somehow when we try doing that we usually break them.
Ok Gracie, I have read all of your post over the last couple of days, some of them 2 or 3 times. The content is excellent because it is about your life. But more importantly your writing makes the reader “feel” your emotions. Passion, acceptance, and in a few of them desperation, and of course always anger. (I am not saying these emotions are what you meant to convey, I am just saying as a reader this is what I felt when I read what you wrote) You have nailed it Gracie. You always want your reader to “feel” something. I told you that a long time ago and you are getting better at it.
Now, who the hell is this Daniel guy mentioned in your post today? Is he your wow man?
And one other thing. Its cold outside. really really cold. And my friend still lives which is great news.
Glad to hear that your friend is holding on. Daniel is a man that I dated for 4.5 years and he fell in love with me but I only fell in like with him so I decided to break it off. He still thinks we should be together but I do not feel the same. The wow man is still hooked on me too. Just talked with him the other day and he is taking a break from women but he still thinks about me. I have a lot of ex’s that would like to get back with me but when I break up with a man I don’t do it without serious contemplation and when I do break upI never go back because to do so would be betraying myself. I am going to be posting a very powerful post tomorrow so make sure you are reading my post tomorrow dear man.
Gracie, my friend has escaped death so many times. When he was young and death came to his door with cancer, he shook his fist at death and said you will not defeat me. 10 years ago he had his first heart attack. The doctors told him 95% of the people that have what you have should die. But he shook his fist at death and said you will not defeat me. The heart attack was due to all the radiation they hit him with back in the 70s when they did not know any better. Two weeks ago death came calling again and he shook his fist at death and said you shall not defeat me. And by golly that sum bitch is still fighting death and winning.
I wanted to write to you this morning because there is a lesson in this for both of us. When we face adversity, like we both have, we need to shake our fist at our adversity and say you shall not defeat me. This is my message to you my friend, and to myself. I am right there with you sister.
And as far as the guys go, if it ain’t there, it ain’t there. There has to be passion, at least as far as I am concerned.
You are such an inspiration to me. Yes, you are also right about the passion. Marriage is hard enough without a spark.
Passion. There has to be the passion. I first felt it in 6th grade and I have been chasing it ever since. Without it you are just friends with benefits or roommates or whatever.
Passion in romance and love is the most awesome feeling anyone will ever feel. The down side is the pain when it ends. But still, even with the pain, I will always chase the passion because once you feel it, you can’t let it go.
I really don’t know how many have ever felt it, the passion, but it is awesome.
I am glad you have felt it. Passion has been an elusive ghost for me in relationships. Wish I could feel it as you have and sorry for the pain that it caused you when you had to let it go.
Oh yes they do. When the little ballerinas are 5 years old or even 10. The best part of my life. I still have a picture in my wallet when she was 4, oh so cute. I want to know how that WOW man works out for you.
Please keep us in prayer. We have both come for a past of sexual sin and it is very hard to resist that temptation. He has done so much better than most men though. Please pray for us. It is not so important to me that I get him to love me, it is much more important that God knows I love Him more than this man. Obedience in sexual purity is the best way to protect someone you love and ensure that if you do marry God will be so in the midst of the marriage.
Just don’t put yourself in a situation where temptation combined with opportunity are both in play. And make sure he is a true” believer”. Its going to be a battle between the flesh and the Spirit. In this corner we have the “spirit of truth” and in the other corner is the “fleshly desire to rip each others cloths off” Let the battle begin. Good luck Gracie.
You got some good advice there. So good had to reread it several times. If he was a true believer I wouldn’t have to worry about him ripping my clothes off silly. Which Bible do you read? lol 😛
Oh yes you would have to worry about that. Just because we are believers doesn’t mean our flesh system doesn’t dominate sometimes. David was a man after God’s own heart and he saw this beautiful woman. That didn’t work out so well for Bathsheba’s husband, did it. And that husband was a stand up guy. He lusted after Bathsheba so much that he had her husband killed so he could have her. He had over a hundred concubines and many wives that would do him but he wanted her. The people of Israel suffered greatly for David’s sin. But as always, God makes something good out of our foolishness. The child Bathsheba was with after that one night stand didn’t make it due to miscarriage. Then David married Bathsheba and had another son, and his name was Solomon. The King in all the ages with more wisdom than all the others. He is the one that wrote the proverb ” get wisdom my son, and with all thy getting get understanding” One of my all time favorites. Kings I and II are so freekin cool. You even find Jezebel and Isiah in there at the end. I could go on and on and on.
Hi Gracie. PM for this message please. Are you familiar with the term “Hoovering” It’s when the Narc crosses our boundaries and they know it and they switch gears and turn on the charm. They study us and learn our weaknesses and know exactly what buttons to push. The greatest Hoover Maneuver I ever experienced was 6 years ago when my x told me she was going to divorce me and I could have our daughter on the weekends, oh how convenient. (Weekends are for partying don’t you know) I was in total shock after that conversation. The next day I get home from work and she acts like nothing was said. Then she told me the way to solve our problems was to have sex 4 times a week. That “Hoovered-Sucked” me right back in. Last night this girl asked me to go watch a friend play in a local club. She challenged me on how I was raising my daughter which was met with a very confused look on my face. Boom, she turned on the charm and changed the subject right away.
Anyway, watch out for men that cross your boundaries twice. If they do it once, well maybe they didn’t know where it was, but the second time they do. I reference Kissy Kissy doctor boy. You present a challenge to him. Be careful. I am a guy so I know how we think
Oh and one more thing. I got a huge ego boost last night. There was this other girl in the friend group that was sort of flirting with me, a lot. My date was a little upset but it was a huge buzz for me. I believe her words were ” Mr. Me, you don’t know it but you are in high demand, but you are with me” Heck, I don’t need or want a girlfriend right now. But it sure is nice to know I still got it.
If you would like me to “not” send these PMs just let me know. Say something like No PM’s FS. This is your space and I don’t want to intrude but I just think you are kind of cool.
He is not a player dear one. He is a very sweet man who is just looking for a girl who can appreciate him and that I do. It is so cute how you are the “big brother” to me and I have several of those kind of guy friends that if this guy ever does me wrong he had better not meet them in a dark alley.
You are cute.
My advice though is not to flirt with another girl if you are with one. There now I am being the big sister to you. That just makes the sweet girl who thinks she landed you a bit insecure (not good) and if I would have been in the room I would have kneed you to get you to act right. lol (Not in the groin silly, kneeing someone is coming up behind them and kicking them right behind the knee so they fall to the floor) Sheesh does big sissy have to teach you EVERYTHING?!!! LOL 🙂
I wasn’t flirting with that other girl. She was flirting with me. I am new to this game, which is what it is, so I have to learn the NEW rules. But thanks for caring. And it is nice to be noticed after 15 years of being a basketball, volleyball, ballet dad.
Somehow I can not imagine you in ballet shoes. Just saying. lol
Ha Ha. You make joke. And yes, I was a ballet dad. I took my daughter to ballet on Monday, jazz on Wednesday, and Toe Ballet on Saturday for 4 years. Who ever invented the toe ballet shoe must have had an orthopedic doctor in their family somewhere down the line. Ouch.
That is hilarious! I always wanted to be a ballerina when I was young but my mother refused to take me to lessons. We lived in a very strict conservative town where no dancing was allowed. That is ok though because I am not very limber nor coordinated so it may have been a God intervention. One doesn’t like to go to ballet shows when the ballerinas can not kick higher than knee level and trip over their own feet. lol