I believe I recently let you know that the AG of Texas just took over $6,700 of my IRA for back child support.
I don’t think that that is wrong because I think that the state should ensure that child support is paid.
There is a whole lot of wrong though, in regards to how I have been treated as opposed to how my ex has been treated.
Yesterday I took my seventeen year old son shopping and I had to buy him a winter coat because his dad wouldn’t.
Ok, so the jerk got close to 7 grand and he can’t afford to buy a winter coat for our son?
Some men are born losers and grow up to be louses. My ex fits so nicely into both of those categories.
Hello. I have been reading your words over the last several days and I have lived through a similar experience. I am a male that was married to a full blown N female for 23 years. In the beginning she only had N traits, then it transitioned into simple NPD, meaning as long as she was getting her way on everything and was never challenged things were relatively OK. Meaning no drama but I still had to suffer in silence. And then at the end it became full blown Pathalogical Malignant Narcissisism, meaning I became enemy number one. I did nothing more than say “NO” to bring this about. OH, the rages, they are not fun. For years she would rage, I would back down, and everything was just fine, for her.
I could go on and on but the reason I am writing is my experience with money, the children, and the ex. My daughter had an opportunity to go on a ski trip with her Christian Youth group. The cost was $475 which I gladly paid. The ex N was in Hawaii so I could not discuss the cost with her before paying but I thought for sure she will split this with me. (Side note: It is the first Thanksgiving after the divorce, right. My daughter is with me and the ex is in Hawaii, which ain’t cheap to fly to or stay once your there. After all that mess about who gets the kid over holidays etc., she’s out of town. Yea for me)
Well, I take my daughter to the dentist (I have taken her to all dental/doctor appts her whole life. Daughter tells me “mom says you pay half and send the balance of the bill to her” I say, good, I was wondering how that was going to work. Now I need to see how I can get her half of the ski trip cost. Daughter says “mom says she’s not paying for that” I’m like, OK then. Daughter has dentist check up. Bill is $275. Needs $700 worth of filings. I tell the dentist, send the whole bill to Momster. Daughter and I have called her Momster for a very long time.
Then, Momster gives daughter $150 to buy “HER/MOMSTER) a christmas present and tells her to get money for friends and families gifts from dear ol dad. Well, dear ol dad is NOT making a lot of money these days, meaning the economy is really bad for me right now but I tell daughter whatever you need just let me know. Now when Daughter is on Ski Trip, dad will be at home, and MOMSTER will be in ASPEN. You can’t breath in Aspen for less than $300 a day.
Sounds so much like my ex-husband and his #3 wife. They are both narcissistic and greedy. They have 2 houses and for a while they had three and every time I pay my child support to them they use it for their extravagant and useless lifestyle. I am pretty much wiped out financially but I will go back to work soon to rebuild my financial situation. I have quit work because I felt as if I had a calling to be a Christian writer, not the nurse that I had been. However, God has not seen fit to find me a paying job in the Christian writing field so I must be realistic and work my nursing career also. In addition I am trying to get other sources of income coming in because my ex is trying to take as much money as he can before my youngest turns 18. I am writing a book about the crap I have been through and I am trying to put it into a humorous light but yet also expose the corruption and the evil which is so rampant in this system.
I feel for you with your ex wife. It seems as if a lot of women do that and deserve the term “gold digger” unfortunately my ex is a good digger also.
Keep in touch if you want to vent. I am sorry you are going through this.
Gracie, thanks for letting me vent. Its not just me that is in a lot of pain but my daughter also. On her own she decided to raise money for a mission church in Nicaragua where she went on a mission trip last summer. She baked 80 dozen cookies and sold them for $10 a dozen. The mom got home from Hawaii at 6 am and daughter was expecting to see her at the mom’s house when all the people came by to pick up and pay for the cookies. Well, mom wasn’t there. She did finally show up at 3 pm but just long enough to change into her yoga clothes and off to yoga. I can’t imagine what that must be like for the daughter. She told me she knew mom would be tired from the long flight but maybe they could curl up in bed and watch movies. But no, not going to happen.
I learned something new also, although I always suspected it. I half jokingly told daughter she was probably over at her boyfriends house. She told me he is at her house all the time. That was news to me. This is the week daughter stays at mom’s and she told me she doesn’t want to leave me. The last thing I told her this morning before she left for school was that she doesn’t have to take any crap off her mom. Although right now I think mom is getting all the N supply she needs from the new guy so my daughter is just a by-product of no real value to her right now.
Thanks for letting me vent. Its just that me and my daughters lives have been ripped apart so the mom can go have fun. Its hard to accept that “we” were just a means to an end for the Ns and not a real person especially when I loved her so much. Although I think I really loved just the “idea” of her and not the real think. I loved the idea of an ideal marriage but in reality it just never existed.
Another suggestion i am going to offer you is to read the book Safe People by Dr. Henry Cloud. I felt uncomfortable with my last boyfriend who I dated for over 4 years and this book enabled me to break away from that relationship.