My daughter’s room all during high school was a mess. Why was her room always a mess?
She was busy being popular, constantly jetting out the door to meet up with friends.
I encouraged her to clean it up. I was ignored. I decided to just let it go. It was her room, if she wanted to live in filth that was her choice, not mine.
She graduated early from high school and soon moved out to live with her boyfriend.
She took all of the bedroom furniture and left a disaster zone in her wake. Her floor was piled up with a mound of dirty clothes. Unfortunately a few of my felines had mistaken it for a litter box. They decided to grace her pile of clothes with brown stinky mementoes.
She told me not to worry about it. I ignored her for a change. (must be a genetic trait – that ignoring characteristic). I tore into those clothes, washed them and put them neatly in her closet. Then I steam cleaned the carpet, cleaned and organized her closet.
Thank God I had done that because in a few short months, I got a call from her. She asked if I could host her, her boyfriend and eight of their coworkers at my house. The would be in town for a work conference. We agreed on reimbursement terms for food and lodging. I rushed out to buy new furniture for her room.
That week turned into two weeks. By the end of two weeks I was exhausted, but I had enjoyed every minute of hosting those wonderful kids. They were so polite and good house guests. I felt blessed to have had them in my home.
She traveled around the country working with her boyfriend for two and a half years. Then they both had difficulties with the company and decided to quit.
I got another call. She wanted to boomerang back into my home. I once again made a reimbursement agreement with her and her boyfriend and opened up my front door. The boyfriend only stayed for six months and then they broke up and he moved out.
I was worried for a minute about how she was going to handle the break up. She amazed me. After trying to please a man for over two years, she came to the conclusion that it may be a wise decision to please herself. She continued to work full time and take night classes towards her college degree. She reconnected with all of her high school friends and reattached her social butterfly wings.
I still sometimes asked the nagging question, “Why was her room always a mess?”
Then she got the bright idea to decorate her room. (You are probably thinking that this story does not have a point about keeping rooms clean but hold on, partner, I am getting to the point soon, very soon). She painted the room the most beautiful shade of lilac purple. She went on Pinterest to get ideas and made herself a jewelry holder out of an antique frame, cork board, nails and a swatch of purple lace. She also created a bulletin board to put on the wall above her desk. Then she bought a painting from France, framed it and placed it above her nightstand. Next, she bordered her bed with two candle holders and another painting that she still has to frame yet. (The point is coming, really, be patient dear). 🙂
I snuck up to her room several times to admire the beauty of it. There is one thing that has amazed me more than the beauty. The room is clean, not just picked up and tidied, no, it is sterile clean. Immaculate would be the term that best describes it.
I asked her about this change. She said that she felt as if she finally owned her room. It was hers now, not just another room in her mother’s house.
So I am thinking if this is all about ownership, how I can get her to own the kitchen sink, the pantry and the refrigerator? LOL
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