After the fall out on Monday evening with my daughter I prayed and received comfort from the Holy Spirit but I needed more. I needed a friend.

I have a single father in the neighborhood who has been my friend for about six years. We are just friends, nothing more. Sometimes we don’t talk for a year or more but when we do talk it seems as if we were never stopped talking.

Monday night I asked him if he wanted to meet me at the pool to go for a swim and told him I needed a friend. He said he felt the same way.

When we met we talked for quite a while before swimming laps together.

He was in the same boat as me. He has a narcissistic ex as do I and he has been the family bank as I have also.

He is tapped out financially and I am on the brink of bankruptcy. So we had much in common. He also will have two children in college this fall and I will have three.

We are both very excellent and loving parents, to a fault, at times.

He is going through the same difficulties with his children as I am. They want to make him responsible for their financial welfare.

I understand that some parents can pay the way to college for their children. I think that is wonderful. Unfortunately I am not one of those parents.

One of the reason why I can not do that is because my ex did not pay much child support when I had custody but when he had custody he demanded more for one child than I got for three and he got that awarded by the courts.

The family court system is so corrupt and unfair it is ridiculous but that is not the point of this post.

The point of this post is that I can not afford to pay for my children’s college education. As a result of this they will have to work and may have loans to pay off when they graduate.

I believe that they are not the only children in the world who face this future. I believe that there are many children who do this.

I also believe that it is those children who will succeed and may have reason to take college more seriously. For if it is your hard work and sweat which accomplish a goal it is owned by you. If it is someone else who pays your way many times the goal is never achieved.

So instead of chiding my friend for not giving his children a free ride, I encouraged him to consider the hidden benefits that his children may gain from his financial distress.

I have heard it said that there is a silver lining to every cloud. I hope my friend and I both find that the silver lining to this cloud is children who are productive and responsible as they evolve into adults.