How are you to respond when someone does something evil out of revenge? I have had a situation lately which has caused me to come up with a way to turn the table on revenge.
My ex had gotten me in a dilemma with my son in Florida. My son wanted to come back home for Christmas and my ex had bought him an airplane ticket. There was a problem with this though. It was only a one way ticket and he expected me to pay for the other way back to Florida.
I could not do that because my ex has basically cleaned me out financially so I refused to pay for the ticket.
This is something my ex has done repeatedly to me and my children. He presents a problem and they always have to come to me to solve the problem and it usually involves a lot of money.
I am tired of his manipulation and I finally put my foot down and said, “NO.”
He relented and finally solved his own problem for a blooming first time ever. He actually changed the ticket to be a round trip ticket. I knew there would be hell to pay for standing up to him. There always is when you deal with a narcissist.
So the latest information from my son is that even though he is flying to Texas for Christmas and I am the best cook in the world at holiday time, he will not be able to stay with me more than one day. We will be required to have our celebration on Christmas Eve.
I was a bit dismayed at this but I expected no less from my ex.
Then I thought about it a bit more and realized that I had spent all of Thanksgiving vacation of 2012 with my son because I drove down to Florida to see him. I spent some time this summer with my son at a wedding for my nephew and also drove him again to Florida. His dad has barely seen him since he moved back to Texas.
So now his dad can see him for an extended period of time. I am glad his dad wants to do that. It is wonderful for a son to spend time with his dad.
So I am not going to be sad this Christmas. I am going to spend a lovely day by myself having had the celebration the day before and I will rejoice in the true spirit of the season which is a spirit of giving.
So the devil can take that plan of revenge and despair that he wanted to hand me for this Christmas and smoke that in his cigar.
I am determined to have a very MERRY Christmas!
Hi Gracie,
I will be thinking about you on Christmas and I will read anything you post that day.
Oh, by the way today is the winter solstice, the shortest day of the year and also the day one year ago that the ex told me she was going to divorce me and she meant it. She told me that many times in the past as a tool of control but this time she meant it. The irony of it all is that I asked her to marry me on June 21, the summer solstice. One day is the lightest warmest day of the year and the other is the darkest coldest day of the year. I try to find humor in everything. I don’t think she has ever quite figured that out yet, but I do find it mildly amusing.
Here is the newest story for you. Just in, right off the news wires. This is the week when my daughter is not with me ( insert sad face here) Anyway, traditionally we (my old family) used to spend Christmas Eve with my family and Christmas Day with the ex’s. My parents were cool with that, my brothers and sister were cool with that. Growing up, Christmas eve was when we had the biggest celebration. Except when we were young. I know my parent regret buying those flash bulb cameras and drum set for my brother one Christmas.
Anyway, my poor baby girl has a real problem on her hands. I brought the subject up several weeks ago but it is crunch time and she has to make a decision. Oh, how I hate that.
Where do you sleep Christmas Eve night? Whose house do you wake up in on Christmas Morning? Ouch. Tough decision This topic somehow came up with her mom recently. I can’t believe how the mom handled it, well yes I can, but whatever. Remember my baby girl is 17 plus and mature as any adult you know. So the mom says, ” Its in the mediation agreement that you have to stay with me” Insert LOL right here.
Gracie, for whatever reason my ex never was able to form a “heart” connection with my daughter although my daughter desperately wants to have one. She is torn between wanting to be with her dad because with dad there is peace, and with her mom out of obligation. The mom tells her whatever you do this year you have to do the opposite next year, its in the divorce mediation. Again, LOL.
I think I will tell her to stay with her mom, its not worth the grief.
Gracie, the two greatest gifts that I wanted to give to my daughter were one, to have a personal relationship with Jesus, and two, to show her what a successful marriage looks like. both gifts require help from others. The first gift requires help from her youth group counselors and her Christian Camp Counselors to reinforce what I teach at home. The second gift required the help of my wife. The reason I wanted to give her these gifts because with them she would never be alone.
So Gracie, for this Christmas, although no one else will be in the room, we will not be alone, because we both have the first gift.
It is good to focus on Jesus on Christmas. I just found out yesterday that my youngest son has to work on Christmas Eve. So my celebration will be shortened with my children. I don’t think he is excited about it either. It is a shame that holidays which at one time were so joyful now have so much sorrow mixed in isn’t it? It is important to keep your mind fixed on positive things and memories during this time of year.
Amen!! Have a wonderful Christmas Eve with your son! I pray that God will change your ex’s heart to soften it and that God will reveal to your son the manipulations of his father and give you Divine Favor. Many blessings to you my sister!!
Same to you dear one. I hope your children and you have a blessed and joyous Christmas.