I sat on my rocking chair engulfed in emotional pain and sobbing uncontrollably when I realized that absolutely everyone that I loved in this life had betrayed me at one point or another.
I wondered what it was about me that caused someone to want to hurt me in such a vicious way. I thought it was because I had always been a nurturer, an advocate, someone who would take the wounded bird under my wing.
I was a protector. I have always been one.
Why is it that those that I have protected seek to attack me?
My next thought was “I just won’t protect anymore. I will find people who are as strong, as successful and as intelligent as I am and those are the ones I will let into my heart.”
This morning though as I was writing back to one of my dear friends in the blog world I realized one thing. I had it wrong.
I was betrayed not because of who I was. The betrayal was because of where the other person is.
To betray you are unhappy, lost and in a very dark place. People who betray are fearful, full of hate, out for revenge and blinded by their own darkness. It is a very deep and dark and sad hole.
So how does someone like myself who loves to love and shine my light, deal with betrayal?
You don’t own the betrayal.
People betray others for a myriad of reasons. It is mostly their own fear which causes them to betray. It has nothing to do with you.
You continue to shine your light of love. That is the only way to break through the darkness.
This does not mean you become a doormat for the one who betrayed you. That would snuff out your light. What it does mean is you desperately grasp the hand of God.
You ask Him to show you how to shine your love to people. It may not be time for you to shine your light into the darkness of the one who has betrayed you. He will let you know when that time has come.
To love someone to receive love back is a very self serving venture. It is best to love as God loves, unconditionally and without expectation.
Continue to love because the Spirit of God within you loves and as a Christian you are an extension of Him.
Remember betrayal is not about you, it is really about God and how He responded to betrayal.
He gave his only Son to explode the darkness of sin with the power of His love, ensuring that those of us who have betrayed Him could have eternal life in His presence.
Awesome post. Betrayal hurts so much, especially when you are a person who loves unconditionally. You just never expect it to happen to you. Thanks for sharing my friend!!
You are welcome.
🙂
I had to think long and hard about this one. I am the person who loves to love and care for the wounded birds, as well. My perceptive has been that I get betrayed by all. I think that people who put their selfish motives first and suck others dry like vampires don’t get betrayed because their hearts are closed off and they don’t let anyone close enough to really harm them. When you take and take and take, you are leaving nothing of yourself for anyone take from you. It’s like you are always on the offensive, no one has time to catch you.
But to the one that seeks out those that are wounded and are in need of love, showers their light on those who need a caring protector, leave so much of their heart wide open that the vampires can sneak in and take a bite (they may even be masking as wounded birds) and then you are left wondering what happened?
I have too wished that I could shut down my heart with a switch, closed it down and lock it up. I wanted to hide my light with a cloak of black to tell others, go find someone else, not me. It’s impossible to do. The cloak slips off and rays of love and light peak out. I try to cover it back up and it completely falls off and their I go again. I don’t know that you can make the choice to be hard, but I do know that it’s not our fault that others betray. I can’t stop anyone from hurting me anymore than I can make them eat a bowl of peas. People do what they do. 🙂
Sweetheart I wanted to reply to this but I may not have time today. One thing I wanted to ask you is if you wouldn’t mind reblogging my entire post when you mention it on your website? That may increase my reach. I have reblogged some of yours already. 🙂
yes, but don’t certain people get betrayed more than others? i know i have been attracted to those who will. what does that mean?
I think betrayal may happen more to those who are kind and giving. We tend to protect others not realizing that it is ourselves we must protect first.
We get played because we think the best of others not realizing that the best is truly within ourselves and may not even occur in the others.
Does that make any sense to you?