I am an addict, I admit it. I am an internet dating addict.

Every day at least once or twice a day I check my inbox, hoping to see Mr. Wonderful.

He is not there.

Have I dated? You bet I have.

Did I have fun on those dates? For the most part, yes.

Did I meet some worthy, handsome and successful gentlemen?

Yep, I met some great guys and had some wonderful dates.

So why did I take down my profiles on both dating sites recently?

It was too easy to discard men and maybe myself. If it didn’t work out with one man there would always be another one waiting.

Plus there was the tension, the conflict within my soul, of wanting to be a Christian, yet putting myself into the trap of temptation.

Most people subscribe to dating sites for one reason. That reason is sex.

Today I had lunch with a good Christian man who I had met on OKCupid. He asked me how I handled the world’s view of premarital sex when I was a Christian.

I confessed I hadn’t had a history of handling it very well. I had premarital sex with a few men. Not as many as I could have, but more than I should have.

According to men I have dated, the women on Christian Mingle are as sex starved as women on other sites. The men are no better, they date to satisfy their flesh.

They have the same disease as I have. The disease is hypocrisy. I have become sickened at my hypocrisy regarding premarital sex.

I have confessed my sin but have I repented?

It is my understanding that repentance is turning away from sin and walking the other way.

I am now at the point of repentance, pleading with God for forgiveness.

Why now?

I have learned the futility of premarital sex.

Sex without marriage cheapens love and opens the door for Satan to grasp your heart. Sex becomes the primary focus of the relationship and real love is lost in the pursuit of sex.

I have experienced the futility of premarital sex.

I had a boyfriend who loved me for my beauty and treated me like a sex object.

He called me the “love of his life.”

We argued constantly.

Every time I needed him to support me he would abandon me.

Although he is no longer my boyfriend, I learned so much from that relationship.

I learned that if a man loves your body without the commitment of marriage he may not be able to see your true beauty.

Your body is temporal, your soul is eternal.

If you have premarital sex you may be sacrificing eternal love for temporal pleasure.

Is it really worth it?