Recently one of my close friends got remarried for the second time. She met a man of God and they have a wonderful relationship.

She has two sons who are about to be teenagers. They love their mother and they love their stepdad too.

I think it must be very difficult to be a stepparent. It is hard to be something which is not yours to be by nature.

When I talk to her about her marriage she raves about how her new husband handles the boys. One instance which she told me about struck me as being very wise and worthy of sharing with my readers. So here it is…

She had worked a long day and was late in coming home but had prepared dinner for her two sons. The sons did not like what she had prepared so they called their natural dad and claimed that she was not feeding them. He is a good guy so he went and bought them some chicken from Chicken Express.

When she got home she was furious because her two sons had lied to their dad and he had fallen for it.

Her new husband got on the phone and talked to the biological dad stating that the sons had disrespected their Mom and that they needed to come clean. Then he made them get on the phone and fess up to their lying, admitting that they had disrespected the mother and that she had actually prepared food for them.

That just struck me as being so cool. I used to think it was great for my boyfriends to be friends with my kids. Problem is, if they are too intent on being friends with my children, they will never have the guts to stand up for me.

I have had this happen in the past where one of my children has demolished me with words in front of a boyfriend and he did absolutely nothing to squash the disrespect.

I personally don’t need any boyfriend to be a friend to my children. They are all very popular and have more than enough friends. What I do need is someone who will have my back and demand respect from my children for me.

That doesn’t mean you loose your cool and scream at them or abuse them. It can be done without either of those things happening but if you don’t demand respect for someone you say you love, then how can you say you love them in the first place?