Adultery – I have contemplated this sin for most of my life. I have seen it from every angle a person can see it.

As a healthcare professional when I try to find a cure for a disease or condition that a patient or I have, I break the disease down to the cellular level. Then I research what kind of environment is conducive to the destruction of the bacteria, virus or fungi. Once I know the environment I recreate that toxic atmosphere in the body and kill the disease.

So what is the environment which causes adultery to grow? I think it may be insecurity. When you are in a relationship and you feel as if the other person has more going for them than you do, you tend to look to others to build you up. This can also happen when one of the partners is devalued by the other.

Insecurity is a ravenous beast to feed. I know I was the insecure one in my marriage. My ex didn’t understand how much my identity fed off of other’s approval. I don’t know if he cared enough but I also don’t think that the beast could have been fed enough to feel satisfied during that time in my life.

I needed time on my own. Time when I could prove that I could be successful without having to ride anyone else’s coattails.

As life would have it, I had that time on my own but I also had three little children which I had to care for during that time. Somehow my love for them pushed me to become successful and fed my beast until it was finally quenched. In the process they turned out to be my greatest joy in life.

I have realized lately I am on the other side of the coin. I have gained confidence and now intimidate many others who are insecure.

We all have games we play and insecure people are masters in the game for self affirmation. Every move they make is an effort to build their ego.

I have tried hard in the past to build someone’s confidence up and have become exhausted in the process. After several years I threw in the towel but I came away with a realizatin. I realized that insecurity can not be rooted out by anyone other than the person who has allowed the weed to grow.

In the Bible it says that believers should not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. That verse is many times used in reference to marriage. I don’t know if it was intended to be used in that way or not but I think there may be a golden nugget of wisdom in that passage.

I think it is important to try and find someone who equals you in intelligence, confidence, financial management and beliefs before you consider the prospect of marriage.