is that we are never satisfied. We are always reaching higher, striving to do more and better things.

Competitiveness runs thick through my blood.

My grandmother was so competitive that she would cheat to win at games.

Yes, my sweet little gray haired grandma would cheat at miniature golf. It became a family joke. If her ball was in the near vicinity of the hole she would just push it in with her golf club so she wouldn’t lose.

We all loved her so much that we did not shame her and considered it a cute memory of her when she passed.

But was it cute?

Competition leads to jealousy, when someone else has done better than we have in our expertise.

That horrid feeling of anger that someone has accomplished that which we wanted to accomplish and of all things, they are better at it then we are.

As I have blogged I have noticed that I have a vicious enemy.

One whom I can not escape.

It is constantly gnawing at me.

I am my own enemy.

I have gotten so caught up in optimizing my blog and checking my stats on a daily basis that I have become obsessed with the competition of being the best in my category.

I have failed to realize that this is not about me, nor is it about being the best.

The emerging goal that I have for my blog is for my writing to touch hearts that are hurting with God’s love.

The numbers are just numbers.

If I touch one heart for God that is the one that He has His eye on, the one He is concerned about.

Jesus went after the lost sheep should I not do the same?

The lamb, its fur tangled with thorns, legs weak from a weary journey. The lamb who is creeping closer and closer to the edge of the mountain, ready to fall to its death, sinking from depression into despair.

To gently lead that lamb back into the fold should be my goal. Turning hearts back to the heavenly Father who always has his heart open for a lost lamb.

The reach and success of this blog is in God’s hands, not mine.

I am only His broken vessel.

It is the broken vessel which shines the light of God most effectively. Those of us who are broken know that we were nothing when we were intact because no light could shine through a vessel which has not been broken.

The numbers and stats are irrelevant to His purpose. A number or a stat has to my knowledge never stopped a lamb from falling over a cliff to its death.