There are quite a few things which Christians do which are well intentioned but rarely work out well. One of these things is when we play God in someone else’s life. I used to have a friend who told me what God had told her to tell me. I would many times look to her for guidance in my life. She was a very good Christian and a good friend so I thought this was okay. There were some times when what she said or thought was different from what I already knew and I became upset with her when I knew she was leading me in the wrong direction. We were friends for many years but eventually the friendship ended and I missed her. After some time I realized that it was probably a good thing for us not to be friends for one reason: she had tried to become my Holy Spirit.

Recently I have become very good friends with a dear woman who has a wonderful marriage. Her husband treats her well and she is an absolute doll and loves him dearly. There is one desire she has for her husband which has not been realized yet. She desires that he would accept Christ as his savior.

The Lord has put it on my heart to minister to this sweet woman and in doing so I have searched the scripture for how to deal with an unbeliever. I think if someone doesn’t know Christ we should preach nonstop to them right? Jesus said we were to spread the good news and if you are living with someone who is an unbeliever you basically have a captive audience. So get on your soap box and start preaching!

Well, that is what we as humans think. In fact, that is in direct opposition to what the Word of God says. 1 Peter 3:1 ” In a similar way, you wives must submit yourselves to your husbands so that, even if some of them refuse to obey the word, they may be won over without a word through your conduct as wives when they see your pure and reverent lives.” (ISV)

Wow, so that is kind of weird. A wife of an unbeliever is not really supposed to preach. She is just supposed to submit? How would that work?

In the order which God created, a women is supposed to submit to a man and a man is supposed to love his wife enough to give up his life for her. If a woman starts to preach to a man and condemn him for his unbelief I believe that may hinder God from playing His role. The Holy Spirit’s role is to convict someone of sin. We as Christians too often condemn others for their sin. As a woman submits to her unbelieving husband she also submits to God and allows Him to play His proper role.

My friend has received this ministry and although her husband has not accepted Christ yet, her marriage is blossoming into a beautiful meadow where God’s Holy Spirit is at peace.