I have recently ended a relationship. It was the second go round for this relationship and thankfully I ended it while I still had some good memories.

I was talking with a good friend about this tonight while we were on a walk.

I had hopes that God had done a work in this person but the more I got into the relationship the more I realized enough had not been done. I was losing myself again trying to build this man up.

As I discussed it with my friend I realized what exasperated me most about this situation. I had tried to play the God role and give this man confidence. In the process of this I had left the calling that God had placed on my life to be a Christian writer.

It is an all consuming and frustrating thing to try and be something you are not and as much as I love God, I am not Him.

I have discussed this relationship with many of my inner circle and they have all encouraged me to end this relationship.

It is not that this man is bad. He is in no way bad. We are just not good together.

The way I love people was not conducive to his feeling loved and I was beyond angry when he would ask me again and again, “Do you love me?”

I finally realized I didn’t and couldn’t love him like he needed.

He was beginning to show signs of possible abusive tendencies and although he never laid a hand on me I began to start walking on egg shells again.

It is difficult to end any relationship and more so when the other one is unable to let go. I know that the right thing to do is for me to let go and give this man back to God.

I have felt responsible for his welfare for far too long and it has drained me of my joy. I want my life back and the freedom to be what God has intended me to be.

I am thankful that I have good friends who love me and support me in this difficult decision. I am truly thankful for my good friend, David, who has invited me into a Bible study. I am grateful for a company which is sooo rocking cool that I not only make a good income while working at it but I love each and every person I work for and work with. I am overjoyed that I have a God who has given me wisdom enough to know that this man is not the one who is to be my husband.

I will pray for him as the Spirit of God leads me to do so but I will no longer feel responsible for his lack of feeling loved.

I have many friends who say they love me and I truly love them. For now that is what fills my soul with joy and my walk with God makes my heart sing with praise.

I praise God that I am free once again to worship in the church which He has called me to and to engage in my passion which is writing for Him.

Is there anything holding you back from the joy that God wants you to experience? Do you have someone who is a hindrance to the calling that God has placed on your life? Do you remember what Jesus said when one of the disciples tried to get Him to abandon His calling?

He said, “Get behind me Satan.”

Sometimes people can seem so good and this man was wonderful in many ways but his presence in my life was an obstacle to what I know God wants me to accomplish.