I hadn’t seen them for quite a few Sundays. It was as if a member of my family had disappeared. I was beginning to worry. I didn’t worry that they were falling away from God but that they had found a different church.

They were two families whom I had come to care for very deeply. One of the women had been one of the reasons why I had first started coming to the church. She had led me to a resolution of my paralyzed vocal cord problem and had also picked me up from the hospital a couple of times when I had to have surgery.

In the other family, I learned the story of the dad. He had severe pain daily due to side effects of chemotherapy and I began praying for his pain as I suffered through my fractured collarbone issue. His smile and kindness while enduring such horrific pain was an inspiration to me.

I asked my pastor where had they gone?

He said that the man’s family had left the church because they desired a church with more of a mission focus. He was still friends with them and continued to talk to them.

I texted the lady who had helped me out with my collarbone and she said they had found a church closer to their house.

I was distraught. Most of the people who brought me into this church have now left. Why was I still there?

Because this is where I go to worship God. The church is not about me or the friends I have or do not have. It is about worshipping God.

Yet, I still feel as if my heart has been ripped to shreds. When I have prayed about this I realize that is exactly how I should feel when someone leaves my church family. It should be heartbreaking. This is my family from God, I should love them as if they are my brothers and sisters in Christ.

Then I paused to reflect on how God must have felt during the years I walked away from Him, sinning as if I didn’t even have a God. It must have torn His heart apart.