My mother has lived in the misery of unforgiveness for the majority of her life.

She held onto bitterness against her dad for many years because she thought he had been too strict on her and I think she was right.

He was a very strict disciplinarian because of his self righteous attitude. Over the years God softened his heart and he was a very loving Grandpa to me.

My dad talked to her about this and broke the bonds of bitterness that she had against her own dad. Then apparently my dad did something to hurt her and she greedily grasped for bitterness again.

She talks more about the evil that my dad did against her than about the good things that God has continually given her. The bitterness and unforgiveness has become her idol. She has worshipped the painful memories by allowing it to consume her thoughts.

One of the roots of bitterness is seeking out others who are in pain. My mother is a wonderful lady to talk to if you are going through a crisis. She is compassionate, understanding and wise in many ways.

The only problem is that she expects you to stay where she is – in the pit of bitterness and unforgiveness.

I have been in that pit and it is a dark and lonely place to be. Destitute would be the word I would use to describe it.

I have been so low that I have considered ending my life.

I have learned that it is necessary to do whatever it takes to climb out of that pit. It is not beneficial to be there. Furthermore it puts tentacles out for others which are in that pit, which makes you sink even lower.

One of the ways to climb out is to seek the forgiveness of God not only for what you may have done that is wrong but also what has been done to you.

This does not mean that you allow evil to win, nor does it mean that you enable it by becoming weak. It just means that you fight evil with the same mind that God has, a mind of love and forgiveness.

If you don’t come to the point of forgiveness for the thing which is attacking you, you will become bound by bitterness, which is an obstacle for love to reach your heart. You will become toxic to those who you are around and become a magnet for others who are toxic.

The company you keep will determine who you become. Either you keep the company of misery and become bitter or you keep the company of forgiveness and you become a beacon of God’s love and grace.