In the Bible it says you should love others as much as you love yourself.

Sometimes verses in the Bible can be weighted with hidden treasures and this one certainly is a treasure. The hidden treasure is that God assumes that we will love ourselves first.

I think loving yourself can sometimes be the most difficult goal to achieve in life. For we know all that is bad, indifferent and unfinished in our lives, don’t we?

I find that I can forgive others much more easily than I can forgive myself.

When I look at some of the narcissistic personalities I have encountered in my life I realize that they are to be pitied. There is a void within them which preys upon the weakness of others.

They are constantly looking for approval from others and many times achieve this by gaining material possessions. They are cunning in business and sly in getting others to do their bidding.

They may have a lot of friends or not many at all. It depends on whether or not the friends support them or honestly confront them.

They can be quite the martyrs also. They will buy items for those that they supposedly love only to manipulate and control them. They will also do many things for those which they “love” to try and entrap them in a relationship.

They are masters at playing the “guilt” card. If you don’t call them every night or attend the events which they want you to attend, they will guilt you into thinking that you are doing something wrong. They may even accuse you of immorality to get their claws of control embedded in your heart.

They can be such victims, buying you things which you don’t even need, and doing without themselves. That is sweet but if it was really a gift from the heart, you wouldn’t know that they were doing without to give to you.

The other trait of those that can not love themselves is that they often have a simmering pot of anger which can erupt at the slightest provocation. They will attack until you attack back and then expertly switch to the role of a victim.

The most frustrating aspect of a narcissistic personality is the bottomless pit within their heart which draws from others to try and feel loved. Whatever you do for them it is never enough to make them feel loved. It becomes exhausting and an effort in futility to make them feel as if you love them.

I have found so much truth in the Bible that I value it above all other books, movies, or wisdom I have gained from others.

In this verse is hidden one of the greatest truths. That being; if you do not love yourself first, you will be unable to love others as God intends you to.

The other danger in loving someone who does not love themselves is that their real goal is to make you into an extension of them, eliminating the vibrant person you once were.

So how do you break free from someone who is a vacuum which sucks all of the love out of you?

Embrace yourself and take joy in the unique person God created you to be. Engage in activities which cause you to be at peace.

Break free of those who want to control you for their own benefit.

Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.

God has given us free will to choose to obey Him. How dare a mere human try to steal that and mischaracterize it as love.