Over the past week I have spent a couple of days deep cleaning my boyfriend’s house. It has been an exhausting venture but I have also gained joy from doing something nice for him.

Today I was out cleaning his front porch and I noticed that his neighbors next door were mowing their lawn. He had said he needed to mow his lawn before he left on his trip. It didn’t get done.

He had also said that his vegetable garden needed weeding. The weeds are still there.

Neither one of those things did I do.

I instead cleaned his floors, washed every single wine glass in his house, polished his woodwork, washed the majority of his many knick knacks. I also washed all of his rugs and his pillows and his blankets that were on his couches.

We talked this afternoon and he commented on how exhausted he was. I felt the same. I hadn’t worked this hard since I spent a week getting my son’s room set up for college.

I told him I was tempted to mow his yard but didn’t think I had the energy to do it. He told me He was glad I hadn’t and he would have been mad if I had done that. He said that that was his responsibility not mine.

It is important when helping someone else to make sure you do not do too much, or that you do things which they may do better. It is easy when helping someone else to cross the line of taking their own power from them and making them dependent on you.

I am done cleaning his house for the time being. There is still much more to do but I can do it when I come over to see him in little snippets of time.

I have tried very hard while cleaning his house to continue to show him respect. Even if I think something is not worth keeping I have not thrown it away because he is very sentimental about some things. I have just gathered up all of the items that I think are not needed and put them in a corner of his parlor.

I have learned from some bad examples in my life that when you do something kind for someone else it should always be done with respect intact for them. You should also not continually remind them of the kindness that you have done for them and try to guilt them into doing things for you.

It is all a matter of perspective. If you do a kind act for someone to get something back you basically just did an act for yourself. Whereas if you do an act of kindness never even expecting a thank you then it is an act of love.