I grew up in a Christian family and although my parents were not happily married they stayed together. I think it was good that they remained married. No one else would have put up with either of them. lol

I knew that my husband was considering the idea of divorce. He was sleeping on the couch and a few nights he had not come home. He was brazen enough to use my credit card for those nights at a hotel. He did that only one or two times before I cancelled the card.

It was hard for me to give up on the marriage. I believe that divorce is not God’s will, but neither is it His will for a woman to be totally destroyed emotionally and psychologically by her husband. 

There was a series of events and revelations that happened in my life that led me to believe that it was time to let go.

One thing that happened was that the diamond fell out of my cheap wedding ring and it was lost to the garbage disposal. 

A revelation came to me from God. The revelation was “when there is adultery in a marriage there is not enough love to sustain a marriage.”

Marriage is work and when someone is going outside of their marriage for emotional or physical satisfaction there is just no fixing that.

The other revelation happened when I was still trying to win my husband’s love. I kept trying to show him love and he always spurned my advances. 

God told me one day. “Whatever you do don’t make the first move.”

At first I though he was talking about my display of affection for my husband. Then the next day He said, “When I said don’t make the first move I meant don’t make the first move towards divorce.”

I didn’t make the first move. Even though my husband was sleeping with another woman and refused to sleep with me I did not kick him out.

A few friends said that is what I should do. They weren’t my God and there was no way I was going to listen to them when He had told me different.

I  know God hates divorce. It is the one thing which has caused me more strife and tears than any other thing in my entire life. 

Even though divorce is not God’s will He does not abandon us when we are going through it. He is a God of love and a God who sees the future as well as the present. 

Even though my marriage ended and I have had a very rough time of it since I the day I married that man, I take comfort in the love from my heavenly Father.

I know I am not anyone’s wife right now but I will never stop being a cherished daughter of God. 

Frankly I like the daughter role a lot better than the wife role. :).