I remember when I was a little girl my sister would ask me to clean up my dolls before her boyfriends came over. She was thirteen years older than me and I didn’t understand the importance of cleaning up for boyfriends when I was three-five years old.

I remember sassing her back once, for which she promptly placed a slap upon my cheek. Other times if I didn’t do it she would do it herself but the guilt ate me up inside. This guilt was self induced but many times guilt is used as a manipulative ploy in a relationship.

I have had several people in my life who have been kind enough to give me money or things which they thought I needed. They have done so with an expectation of return, it wasn’t just thanks that they wanted. They wanted to control my life.

I have fought this demon my entire life and in most cases I have won because I am strong willed and hard headed.

I have learned to identify when guilt is being used as a manipulation and to pull away from the person who uses it.

A person who tries to make you feel indebted to you for their gifts or their acts of love is not a person who loves freely. They do not love as God loves, which is unconditionally and without expectation of return.