I don’t know what it is like to lose a child to death. I thank God that nightmare has not been a reality in my life. Unfortunately, some people have to endure that grief. Christmas time can be tortuous when grief is the bow wrapped around your heart.
I have a friend of mine who gave me the approval to tell his story.
I met the man five years ago. That was when I did home health nursing. I remember looking at his history and physical and telling my agency I did not want to take his case. He had a wound that I did not want to treat and according to the history of this guy, he had a problem with depression… for ten years, no less.
The depression was linked to the death of his son. I grew up with a mother who had untreated depression and have very little stamina for it.
Plus he was clear across town from me.
I drove over there grumbling and did the admit. By the time I was done with that stinking admit, I had decided that I liked this guy so much that there was no way I was letting someone else take care of him. He was MY patient and I was going to own this case.
Pretty soon the wound was healed and I was trying desperately to help him find more reasons for me to visit. I taught on all of his disease processes and medications and then I had to discharge him. We exchanged phone numbers and kept in touch.
The problem with this case is, that I could heal his wound but I couldn’t heal his heart. We talked a lot about the death of his son which had happened more than ten years ago but he still carried the pain. Nothing I said helped.
When I released my novel, The Shattered Vase, he was one of the first of my friends who purchased it. I was thrilled that he was reading my novel but a bit concerned about the effect it would have on him. One of the characters loses a child to death in the book. I thought it may cause the gaping wound in his heart to gush out more pain.
So I called him and he told me the most incredible story.
He works for a home builder now.
He was showing a house to a pastor and told the pastor that the house he was looking at was what his company referred to as a “castle.”
The pastor looked at him and said, “You are placed here by God because my wife and I have been praying about this and we did not ask God for a home, we asked Him for a castle.”
Then my friend said, “Would you mind praying for me? I have been carrying around this pain for fourteen years. My son died fourteen years ago and I just can’t get over it.”
That pastor took hold of my friend and started praying over him. My friend said that he experienced Jesus entering him and actually felt him entering his body. He said the pain that he was carrying was like a tumor at the base of his neck and Jesus took that tumor out and discarded it.
I have never heard such joy as my friend, who is now one with Christ. He was exuberant. But that is not all. The effect that Jesus had on my friend started with his deepest loss, which was the loss of his precious son. But God’s spirit will not stop there. The Holy Spirit is now healing all kinds of hurt and pain in this man, from annoyance with his mother to unforgiveness of his father.
He is being recreated in the likeness of Jesus Christ. He is becoming a new creature. It is like he is being born again.
Yet the sweetest part of his story is the effect that his son had on his friends while he was alive. One of his friends had said that his son proclaimed that he believed in God and knew he was going to heaven if he died. Most, if not all of his friends, have turned to God and his son’s life had a Godly impact on them.
I know, without a doubt, that I didn’t want to take this case. God had a much better plan than me. I am so grateful to know this man and humbled to call him one of my dearest friends.
Glory to God in the highest!
If you are struggling with grief this Christmas season. Please seek help. Ask people to pray for you. Reach out, don’t go through this tough and tortuous path solo. There are people out there who dearly love you!
