Words are used to accomplish many things. They are used to motivate, encourage, discourage, form opinions and promote policies. There are countless other ways to use words. Many people use words to gossip about others.
Why do they do that? Because talking bad about someone else makes us feel better doesn’t it?
Society holds productivity in high regard currently.
Is gossip a productive use of words? Rarely, if ever.
Gossip has several characteristics.
The first characteristic is that gossip is about someone else, not ourselves, and it is done behind the back of the one who is the subject of the gossip.
The second characteristic is that it is negative in nature.
The third characteristic is that it is worthless for the force of change in that person’s life.
If you want someone to change something, I suggest you talk to them about it in a positive manner and continue to encourage them in that effort.
If you really want someone to change I encourage you to talk to God about them. He is in the business of changing people.
In Ephesians 4:29 it says, “Let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only what is necessary for building others up, that it may benefit those who listen.”
It appears that God would like our words to be used in a productive manner. Gossip is about as unproductive as you can get in the world of words.
I would like to encourage all of my readers to make this Christmas a Merry Christmas by giving kind and edifying words to one another and to refrain from gossip.
If you have a problem with someone take it to God, He is really the only one who can do anything.
Gracie,
Great posts. Your Ephesians reference is one of my favorites and one I always have to focus on. My daughter tried to lead her mother in a bible study, just the two of them once a week. That Ephesians texts is the one she gave her mom to focus on and I have it on my refrigerator even today.
Thank you for your feedback. It is a good thing to always remember the power of words. If you look in the Bible at the creation story God spoke the world into existence. It was only Adam he made with his own hands. Words have power and far too many use them to destroy instead of build. I sometimes fail in this arena more than I would like to admit.
The Abuse Expose’ with Secret Angel has a good post on narcissists today and Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed is an excellent blog about this personality disorder.
I am not trying to distance myself from you but these women are pros at calling out the con of a narcissist.
I was thinking about you tonight and I think you had a good relationship with your ex to begin with. However, when your lovely daughter was born you grew up into being a parent and she regressed back into being a child.
Part of the death of any relationship is saying goodbye to the dreams you had for it. As you say goodbye to those dreams you open the door to other potential dreams that you can fulfill with your daughter.
Try to let go of the past and any expectations of your ex that you may have. She is not capable of fulfilling those expectations. If she does do something mature and adult like then rejoice but don’t expect it. It is our hopeful expectation which makes our disappointment seem so dark.
I value your presence and your comments on my blog and hope that anything I say or do may help and not harm you.
Be blessed.
Gracie, I really liked your post on guilt that was posted today. Kim and I have been talking and she is a good source of encouragement. I am still in the isolation phase of my recovery which isn’t fun, but it is better than talking to people that know my family including the ex about what happened. Tonight, a buddy is coming over to take me to a club where a friend’s band is playing. A Blues Bar.
Oh, I have always loved the blues.
Side note, I will not be down forever. Girls like me, the ex even did at some point, but I guess the need to be in control just takes over and the narc behavior is unstoppable. They need fresh meat, who knows why.
In our divorce mediating I was supposed to receive 1/2 of all Christmas decorations. My daughter and I are opening the boxes and what did we find. In one 36 X 18 X 6″ box there were 4 decorations. No Christmas Tree lights and we had over 12 sets. I know, I am the one that put them up. We had lights that went around the house, I know, i put them up. Were they there, any of them? No. We did find some decorations that went on my daughter’s private little tree, you know the one that is about 3 ft tall. We both laughed then went up to Ace Hardware, bought tree lights and a front door wreath. Those decorations are the most precious by the way. The ones the kids make when they are 3 and kindergarden etc.
The road goes on forever but the party never ends.
Yeah, I know how you feel. Every time I seem to have a good day something happens in my family which causes me to feel as if I am fighting a losing battle. It is constant when you deal with a narc-they are not happy unless they are destroying someone else. Sick way to live if you ask me.