When I was a little girl I can not tell you how many times I heard “Why aren’t you more like your older sister?”

My older sister was a consummate perfectionist. She was pretty, popular and a very hard worker. I, however, was joyous, imaginative and impulsive.

I loved my older sister and admired her but no matter how much I tried I could not be like her. She was also thirteen years older than me, so the comparison was unfair in balance.

I was thinking about this in relation to some of the difficulties I have with the feminist movement.

Am I feminist? You bet I am.

I have a problem with the movement though. The problem is that women are defined by a comparison to men.

In fact the dictionary even defines feminism as trying to be equal to men.

Why are we trying to be like men? Why can’t we embrace and celebrate the differences that we, as women, provide humanity?

Is it so terrible to want to have children and fulfill the God-given role of being a Mother?

The feminist movement places no value on women who stay home to raise children. Or those that stay home in general.

Women are not valued unless we are out in the business world striving to make a dollar and attain power, so we are equal to men.

If a person is always gauging their worth by comparison to someone else, is that person truly acknowledging the beauty that is within them?

I would like to encourage those within the feminist movement to embrace all women for the unique qualities women bring to the table. Whether that includes being a stay at home Mom or a corporate executive.

We may never know the wonder of being women until we separate ourselves from the comparison to men.

In my life the person who kept encouraging me to be like my sister, is now the one who says she is so glad I am not like my sister.

It served me well to be true to myself.

I believe it would serve all women well to be true to themselves.