All of my life I have fought this monster. The monster is criticism and negativity.
Criticism and negativity were constantly trying to suffocate my joy.
I found that my husband continued the slaughter of my soul.
I told him once that if he said something nice, he may be amazed at how hard I tried to impress him. He didn’t, maybe he didn’t realize the power he refused to tap into.
I, on the other hand, felt it a grave sin not to compliment someone. Criticism of another was something which I did only to defend myself and that was if all other avenues had failed.
Sometimes my kindness harmed me, because instead of being honest with people, I would stuff all of my sarcastic comebacks down my throat. Then the people would continue in their verbal abuse of me because I didn’t let them know how wrong they were to use words which hurt.
I am learning to put my armor up against people who are unkind and misuse the power of words. I am doing this not only to protect myself but also to help them grow and become a better person.
A recent example was at my nephew’s wedding reception. The reception was a fabulous affair, beyond elegance, and I wanted to look amazing.
When I first walked into the room I checked on my niece and her boyfriend. I felt as if her boyfriend may feel a bit out of place within the midst of relatives. I walked up to him and greeted him. He said “You look like a movie star.” Love that boy!
Then I walked by my a close family member’s table and I heard, “That dress is too short.” I looked back and told the person she “was being rude.” She said it again. I repeated the fact that that was a rude comment to make.
This person came and sat by me later and said that I did look wonderful, which was her way of apologizing, I guess. This was one of the first times in my life that I have fought back against a critical and demeaning spirit.
It felt good. I wish I had done it sooner. i wish we all had. If we had, then maybe this person would not continue to use words to wound her those whom she claims she loves.
Many times she has wisdom to share, for she is wise in many ways. I wish she was wise enough to know that the avenue of criticism is a treacherous path if you want to reach a person’s heart.
I was reflecting on this as I was communicating with one of my guy friends. He is a writer and highly intelligent. We have a history of encouraging each other. Today he thanked me for the kind words I had just sent him and I told him that the river flows both ways.
Then I started thinking…
Words which are kind are like a river, they nurture dreams and goals. They feed the soul. The give life to a parched and dreary land of desperation.
Words which are negative are like a dam. They can kill a dream, defeat the most loftiest of goals and they can starve a soul.
The land adjacent to criticism is cracked, dry and devoid of life as if in a drought.
Be careful which words you speak. Criticism and negativity are death. Words of encouragement and hope are life.
In the Bible it says that we will be held accountable for every careless word which we speak. God created most of the universe by speaking it into existence. It was only Adam and Eve which he formed with his hands. If the universe was spoken into existence, the logical conclusion may be that words have enormous power.
Let us all seek to use them wisely to build, not tear down, another human.
A special thanks to my dear friend for the inspiration of kindness, which nurtured my mind to write this post. You are beyond wonderful.
Would love for you to take a look at my novel, The Shattered Vase. https://store.bookbaby.com/book/The-Shattered-Vase
This post was originally released in September of 2013. For other insight on words please read the following post.https://singleparents.dfwhostingwebsites.com/my-dad/
