There were many years I was chasing sin. I got on several online dating sites, posted my hottest pics, dated a large amount of men and discovered something. Most men want one thing. In large part they wanted me to sin. Even the “good” Christian men.
I sometimes fell into sin with them but immediately wanted them to just go away. It wasn’t that I didn’t like them, it was that I didn’t like sin.
Around five years ago I took stock of my life and realized that I didn’t like the path I was on. The roller coaster of online dating is a miserable excuse for true love.
I even had an exclusive relationship for several years and was still miserable. That man was drawn closer to God through our relationship. He now has a vibrant relationship with the Holy Spirit. For this, I am thankful but the relationship had the opposite effect on me. I stopped writing when I was with this man. That is how I feed my spirit and I was dying inside.
So I finally ended that relationship.
I didn’t know what I was going to do. I don’t like to live the life of a hermit. I had tried that before and I sunk into deep depression.
The Lord led me to a group of singles which are over 50 in my neighborhood. Many of those people are committed Christians. The group was not Christian in nature but a Bible Study for women was started out of it. This is a wonderful collection of women who are trying their hardest to walk the pathway of Christ.
God was not finished with me yet. Because of the yearning in my heart for more of Him, He led me to another single’s group. This was also not labeled as being Christian. Yet when I gathered with this group, I knew that the leader, Julia, was an amazing woman of God. She has become one of my dearest friends.
Soon, I became aware of another group called Singles Focused on Christ. I was blessed enough to go on a cruise with the leader of this group, Jon Peterson. Jon has no home to call his own, no car and I care more for him, as a brother in Christ, than any man I have ever dated. He is truly walking the walk of Christ, forsaking the lure of materialism and the death which that spirit brings.
God arranged for me to drive to Galveston with Jon and two other women who are now my friends. I didn’t know him from Adam. As we began talking on the drive, I found out he had a radio show.
On Wednesday of this week he not only interviewed me but the two other friends that car pooled with us to Galveston. He was gracious enough to allow me to promote my novel, The Shattered Vase, on his show.
As I was walking out to my car, God prompted me to give another radio host my card for my novel and she said she would read my book. I am hoping that I can interview with her also.
As I was driving home I thought of all that God has done in my life over the past year. I truly feel happier and more fulfilled than at any other time in my life.
This morning I was meditating on the changes that God had wrought into my life. I became aware that I had changed my focus. I stopped chasing sin and started racing after God.
It is a stark difference.
Sin leads to death but God, through the sacrifice of my glorious Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, leads to life.
Jeremiah 29:13-14
13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. (NIV)
I will tell you from personal experience, there is no captivity as horrid as that of sexual sin.
