he is lousy at forecasting weather.

He usually wakes up in the wee hours of the morning and spends some time with God, praying and reading the Bible. (I absolutely love that!)

Then he does crunches while watching the weather. Then he starts working. Lucky man he gets to work from home because he is a brilliant computer programmer.

Then around eight or nine am he shoots me a call and he usually tells me the weather. I always listen and act like I am interested even though he has not been right even once on the forecast.

So this morning the same thing happened. He told me that there was going to be some severe weather in the area and he was going to be watching the weather most of the day to make sure I was safe. (Okay, now here is where you go, “Awww, that is so sweet.”)

I was planning on going to my favorite outdoor church this morning and when I looked out at the sky I noted it to be covered with clouds.

Well, little ol’ me has quite an imagination and I imagined that I would be caught in the park where the outdoor church is and with all that nasty weather happening I would have to go take shelter in the homeless shelters nearby. (You can take a breath now. I know that was a run on sentence but it added to the suspense didn’t it?)

I do not in any way think that homeless people are below me but I do think that if a tornado is coming I would much rather be home in my closet rather than with a bunch of strangers. (Another breath if you didn’t breathe deep enough with the first run on sentence. :))

Then my mind traveled further and I remembered the last time a tornado hit my city. I had driven home just in time to get my kids in the closet before the sirens started screaming. I was thinking I didn’t want to be driving through tornadoes warnings again, the first time wasn’t that much fun.

There was no way I was going to that church today. So I started cleaning my kitchen which, for the record, looked like a tornado had already hit my house.

I got it cleaned up really good and then looked outside during the mid morning hours and saw not a cloud in the sky. No tornadoes, no dark ominous clouds, no tree bending wind.

I am sorry to say I fired my boyfriend as my weather forecaster. I think that was the 20th time I had done that though. Go figure.