In the Bible there are many symbolic references. One of the ones I enjoy is the symbolic use of a tree.
In the Bible bitterness is described as a root. In my novel, The Shattered Vase, I have chosen to symbolize bitterness as a tree.https://store.bookbaby.com/book/The-Shattered-Vase
Do not be deceived, bitterness does not stop with roots. This vile emotion grows into a tree of unforgiveness, with branches of anger, wrath, malice, slander and vengeance.
In Hebrews 12 the Bible speaks to this issue. In verse 14 “Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. 15 See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.”
I grew up in a home where bitterness and unforgiveness was a prevalent presence. I packed those memories and experiences into my baggage that I brought into my first marriage. My ex was not perfect but I don’t think I was very easy to love with all of that baggage.
I became aware lately of how much of that burden I was still holding onto. My current boyfriend and I have been on and off for ten years and I can tell you every single time he hurt me. I used to feed those memories and fertilize the root of bitterness in my heart. I would replay the hurt again and again as I justified treating him like dirt and feeding his insecurities.https://singleparents.dfwhostingwebsites.com/doubt-and-insecurity/
My problem was that I was hiding my hurts and instead of confronting my boyfriend, I would let them build up. Then when they had reached the size of a mountain I would break up.
He was always dumbfounded as to why I would break up with him but kept pursuing me.
I finally came to the realization that I was responding to him as I had my mother. My mother never cared if she hurt me or made me cry. She would always say that I was “too sensitive” and go right on hurting me. So, as a little child, I became determined to never let her see me cry. I would just cry myself to sleep.
I didn’t realize how horrible my childhood had been until I happened across a diary that I had written when I was in 5th grade. On the second page I had written “Tonight is the first night I haven’t gone to bed crying.”
My boyfriend is not my mother though. He is crushed if he makes me cry. He tries his hardest to be considerate and respectful of me. He has sacrificed again and again so that I can have things while he goes without.
I made a decision that I needed to process things differently with him. If I am hurt or I think we have an issue in our relationship, I bring it to God first. Through prayer I ask God if this is something that is worthy of bringing up to him.
I pray for many days before I confront him and in doing so I ask God to blanket it in love, not anger.
There was just one thing that had kind of bothered me about him. I felt as if he had disrespected me in front of my children. After praying about it I came to the conclusion that he was just teasing. We tease each other a lot in good fun. I did mention it to him in conversation the other night. He assured me that he never meant to hurt me. So I let it go and didn’t dwell on it.
Now when I get a bad thought coming through my mind I don’t fertilize it regarding him. I weed it out and replace it with good memories I have of him. There are so many good memories to choose from. It is my choice to feed a tree of life instead of a tree of death and darkness.
Do you struggle with bitterness or unforgiveness? Leave a comment if you would like for me to pray for you in this regard.
If you have struggled with this in the past and have overcome it please share in the comments your battle plan for success in this area.
My novel, The Shattered Vase deals with this issue and it is a battle plan for fighting the devil and winning at spiritual warfare.
Please consider buying it.
It is currently being discounted by Amazon. Just click on the link – https://www.amazon.com/Shattered-Vase-Battle-Life-Book-ebook/dp/B07KRNQ6NW
