When I left my previous company for the company I am currently working with I was told I would be getting a full time position. A full time position is salary and that is what I needed. I also needed benefits. I have worked for this company for nine months now and I am still not full time. What I was told at the beginning was, in fact, a blatant lie.

There are times I have been angry about this. There are times I have been fearful about how I would pay my bills. I have prayed and pleaded and scratched my head in frustration at the incompetence of the management team. There are times I have been tempted not to give a damn about this job. I am the only one who consistently submits my work on time and I constantly get passed  over. In my business if the work is not submitted on time the company doesn’t get paid. It would seem simple to give the full time position to the person who continues to submit work in a timely manner.

As I have prayed over this I have also entertained the idea of going to other companies. Therein lies a huge problem. The problem being my patients. I love my patients. I truly do. I can leave the company but if I leave the company I can not take my patients with me. I signed a non compete agreement with them.

The other problem is that the person who hired me was a good friend of mine. Why would a good friend of mine mislead me? She was supposed to be a good Christian. Yet the lie she told me was just one of many that she became known for. I came to the realization that it was not a friendship which was conducive to my welfare but I still tried to respect her as my boss.

Recently my boss got demoted. Another friend of mine took her position and I had the same talk with her. She said the full time position was between me and another nurse. I pled my case but as I did so I realized it was more about what God wanted than what I wanted. I don’t even know if I would like working full time. I am already working 50 + hours a week as a contract nurse and I know it would be much more than that as a full time nurse.

It is difficult when you encounter a lie to not become bitter, especially when it affects your ability to make a living. It would have been understandable for me to rejoice when I heard that my former boss had been demoted but I haven’t rejoiced one bit. I pray for her daily as I pray for myself, hoping that we will both be able to make a living. I can do this only because I do not give the authority of my finances to anyone other than God.