For those of you who have been following my blog for the past year you have realized that I had a bit of a problem with the company I am working for. When I first hired on I was promised a full time position. That has not materialized. I got angry and applied at other companies. I finally hired on with another company in November of last year. I gave my two weeks notice but then rescinded it because I just didn’t feel like I could leave my current company. So I figured if I had two companies to work for maybe I could make enough money to pay my bills.

The problem is that I take care of patients in their home. I am a home health nurse. Taking care of patients in their home is not the problem, the problem is that I have developed a fondness for my patients. Okay, I will be honest, it is more than a fondness, I truly love my patients. They are the sweetest and most endearing collection of people I have ever taken care of in my whole life. To quit my company would mean that I would have to say goodbye to them. I just could not do that. Furthermore, I could not bring them with me to a new company because I had signed a non-compete agreement and even if I hadn’t signed that, I wouldn’t steal patients from one company to bring them to another. That is unethical.

So I talked with some of my friends and started networking. One of my friends wanted me to work for her company. She loved her job and she is one of my dearest friends so I would have liked to work with her again. She said I didn’t owe my current company anything. She was right I didn’t owe my company anything.  It was those patients though. They had claimed a large part of my heart and I couldn’t see walking away from them.

Fear kept knocking at the door, saying I would never get out of debt with this job. There were some days I wanted to do a sloppy job because it seemed as if no matter how good I was the reward of more work was not coming. Yet I knew that I needed to work as if God was my boss and sloppy is not in His dictionary. So I continued to do my best.

Then we had a change in management and according to the owner, he told them to give me more work. I had been begging for that for close to a year. Finally my prayers were being answered.

As I reflected on this past year I realize how much God was with me through this time. In 2 Timothy 1:7 the word of God says: “ For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”

I could have left the company because I was scared but I would have taken another hit to my income because I would have had to build my reputation and my client load up with a new company also. Instead I kept praying to God, asking Him what He needed me to learn and worked very hard on trying to budget better. I have been blessed by God in that none of my debt is collecting interest so it is just a matter of time before it becomes a memory instead of a present reality.

I am so glad I drew close to God during this time and that He sustained me, instead of quitting because of fear. To make a decision based on faith and love is a much stronger arena than one based on fear.