I have read the news reports on Ethan Couch. He is a teenager who killed four people while driving drunk. He is also called the “Affluenza” teen. He is now on the run even though he didn’t get any jail time for a mass murder. He got probation and then failed to follow the guidelines of his probation. Apparently we were supposed to feel sorry for him because he was never given the gift of accountability by his parents. They bought him everything he wanted but failed to teach him to be responsible.
There were countless times when my children didn’t get the gifts that they wanted. As a single mother I didn’t get much child support and although I worked a full time job and a part time job I had a hard time making ends meet when they were young. They never went without food or clothing, nor did they go without a roof over their head but if they wanted something special they had to work for it.
I remember when I moved into my new house my boys would complain that they had to do work for me if they wanted any money. They said that their friends didn’t have to do that. Their friends just had money thrown at them by their parents. I looked at them and replied, “It is going to be hard for your friends to realize that money doesn’t grow on trees when they grow up. Now please go mow the yard and when you are done I will pay you the amount we agreed on.”
As I look at Ethan Couch and his mother, who is now suspected of helping him avoid consequences of his behavior, I pity him. His parents allowed him to make poor choices and rewarded those poor choices. I remember when my daughter told me she was contemplating doing some LSD. I looked at her and replied, “If you do drugs, then drug rehab is on your dime, not mine. I have never done drugs and I have never given you the indication that doing so would be a worthwhile endeavor. So if you decide to do that, then you have to spend your own money getting off of them. I don’t have enough money to finance stupidity.” I do not think she ever did LSD.
Another benefit of being poor is that you can not make stupid choices. Stupid choices cost a lot of money. I struggled to show my children that working hard and keeping a clear mind would benefit them. Having ADHD gives me enough problems with thinking, I sure as heck don’t want to mess my mind up with alcohol or drugs.
As Ethan Couch is on the run from the law I am so thankful that my children have learned responsibility. I have worked hard and now they are working hard. I never took one penny from the government to help raise my children. It is not someone else’s responsibility to pay for my children, it is mine. It would have been nice if I had gotten the correct amount of child support from their Dad. I wish he would have been a more responsible parent but I am thankful that he was very involved in their lives and I think he loves them. If I had gotten the correct amount of child support my children my have not learned to be responsible and accountable. They are all in college and doing very well in their studies. They are also all working part time and so far, to my knowledge, have not made significant poor choices but if they do make a poor choice it is their responsibility, not mine, to pay the consequences for that choice.
