I have talked at great length with one of my friends about insecurity in others. It is a drain to be with someone who is insecure.

I have been insecure in many relationships and I am still constantly looking inward to find that demon. As I search for that evil within me I examine each and every act I have done with those whom I say I love.

If you are loved by someone who is insecure you are not truly loved, because insecurity is rooted in fear. In 1 John 4:18 the Bible says that “perfect love expels all fear.”

So when someone “loves” you out of a root of insecurity there is manipulation and fear entangled in the emotion. They are constantly looking to be affirmed and encouraged, expecting you to rid them of their demons.

To love someone such as this is a futile venture, for they must take responsibility to deal with their own demons.

As I examine my own actions I became powerfully aware that I had used manipulation just recently. I had portrayed it as an act of love but because it was based in a root of fear it could not be love.

After that manipulation I had someone reenter my life whom I had previously cared for. I had the opportunity to sin based on my fear. This time I did the right thing, I turned and walked away from sin.

That decision was not only because I cared for someone but it was also because I cared for myself. I was being true to myself when I said “no” to the temptation. It felt so good.

Somehow it seems to me that to walk in righteousness is the only way to truly clean my heart of insecurity. To do what is right according to God allows me walk in confidence.