I think that love relationships can sometimes feel like a cage. This frequently happens when one of the lovers is insecure and they feel like they have to control the one they love. Sometimes it takes the right key to open that cage and let love flow through where control used to barricade the door shut.

My mother is very insecure in her relationships and she likes to control others. She insists I call her every week. If she is having difficulty she insists that the frequency increase. If she does not get her way she is a master at guilting her children.

I remember one day I thought about how much I missed her and I decided to give her a call. She is always excited to hear my voice and I love that about her.

That special day we talked on and on and when I hung up the phone I realized how much I had enjoyed the conversation. I reflected on why I had enjoyed it more than most conversations with her and I realized it was because I had come to the point of missing her and it had been my choice to call her with no guilt induced by her.

I had the same problem with my boyfriend when we dated previously. I didn’t really love him completely and because of that he felt insecure. He also tried to guilt me into loving him. That drove me nuts.

I broke up with him and he turned to God. What a wonderful change I have seen in him because he is not looking to me anymore for his self worth. He is looking to God. I am telling you that is a miraculous change and one that is so enticing it is just unreal when you see that in a person.

Just last night we had a test in our relationship. I had a Nerium market party to attend and I had invited an old boyfriend to the party because he had become a brand partner in the business when I was dating him.

This old boyfriend is a gentleman and I knew he would not act a fool. I also told him that I had reconnected with my long term old boyfriend. (I know some of you are thinking that I have a semi-truck full of old boyfriends and I hate to have to agree with you but you are right. lol)

It was nice to see my former boyfriend and I still care for him deeply as a friend but it doesn’t compare to the way I care for my current boyfriend.

While I was at the market party my cell phone ran out of batteries. I intended to go to the gym and do some swimming at the pool after the party.

I know though that God was watching out for my boyfriend’s heart because the pool was so cold that I ditched the swimming idea after trying to swim laps. I also had not packed any tennis shoes in my gym bag and I was NOT about to work out on the gym machines in my high heels.

So I started driving home and I realized that I needed to get home quickly because I needed to call my boyfriend and let him know that I was home.

I thought about how I would have felt if I had been him. Let me put it in perspective for you. Seeing it as if I had been him and he had been me.

He was going to a business meeting and he was going to meet an old girlfriend there and it hadn’t been that long since he had dated her. Plus this old girlfriend was a respected doctor.

When I tried to call him his phone went to voicemail immediately and he had not even set up the voicemail yet because I had just bought him a new Samsung S5 over the weekend because he had lost his cell phone. (Which is the truth, he just bought me a new phone because I had lost my old phone and he bought me the very best phone on the face of the earth!)

So basically I would have been thinking all crazy thoughts because I would have been thinking he was doing all kinds of nasty with his former girlfriend.

Yeah, I know you are thinking the same thing that I was thinking last night… This is NOT the way you make a person feel secure. (And no, I did not even think of doing anything disrespectful with my old boyfriend and he is too much of a gentleman to think anything like that either. So get your mind out of the gutter. Sheesh!)

I got home and I plugged in my cell phone on my charger. I was sitting on the floor of my bedroom with my cell phone still plugged into the charger when I called my boyfriend. I told him that the party had been wonderful and I had enjoyed seeing my friend but that I still loved him more than ever.

This morning when he called me he told me how much that meant to him. He told me it almost brought tears to his eyes. He said he had thought last night what a loving thing that had been to do and how much he felt loved last night.

I said that I had realized that previously in the relationship I had thought that if I just told him how good looking he was and kept praising him with words, he would know how much I loved him.

I have realized that actions speak a thousand words and last night with the way I acted I told him in a thousand different ways how special he is to me.

I can not tell you how thankful I am for God being in the midst of our relationship.

It is so vibrant and wonderful to have God be the center of our universe. I know that God is working in this man’s heart as He is also working in mine. The gentle blossoming of His love is producing a confidence and a level of love that I never knew was possible in my heart.

I would encourage each of you to try and find your confidence in your relationship with God and not those whom you love. If you have your confidence in God as my boyfriend has learned to do, you become irresistible to the one whom God has chosen for you.

It becomes impossible for the one you love to not love you in return. If they don’t love you back then God has something better for you and you need to move on darlings.

Loving God is the key which can open every locked and wounded heart and it is the only key guaranteed to heal once it is open.

The key to love is to love God first and foremost and then everything falls into place like a gentle spring rain on a beautiful meadow full of wildflowers.