I have never been a stepparent. So I don’t know if this is sage advice or not but I have been in the presence of adults who were at one time step children.

My long term boyfriend had been a step child. When I asked him to step up to the plate and provide more discipline in his role as a pseudo dad he refused.

In his refusal he said one of the smartest things I have ever heard. “I am going to befriend them first. Once I am their friend then I may play a role in discipline.”

That is just what he did too. On most of our dates we took at least one kid along and the date focused more on our kids than on us.

It put me in a bit of an awkward position because I had to be the bad cop in my kids life but in retrospect I was glad he was playing the good cop role.

He played this role well for six months. I had not fallen in love with him yet, so I was thinking of breaking up with him.

Then my ex played the drama king role (which he plays so very well.) He orchestrated a fight between my sons and I over whether or not they could bring their laptops on a trip to Florida. They were flying to Florida for summer visitation with him.

I was at wit’s end, so I called this boyfriend and asked him to come over. By this time he had not only befriended my sons but had gained their respect.

He walked in the house and didn’t say a word to my sons. Out of respect for him they left their laptops at my house with not a word of discord while he was there.

That is some kind of awesome. That has love, respect and obedience all wrapped up in one package.

It is this man’s  birthday today so I wanted to write this post to a man who has not only been wonderful to me but also has been an immense blessing to my children. Thank you and Happy Birthday!

( You know who you are. I don’t want to name you because I never name anyone on this blog.But you know who you are.)