Having a task list is good right?

A task list propels us toward our goals and everyone needs to achieve goals.

I always have a running list of at least ten to twenty items I need to get done. This list scurries about through my disordered thoughts and taunts me daily.

The list plants anxiety and impatience in my demeanor.

When evaluating my task list I have come to the conclusion that a great majority of my time is spent taking care of things.

I enjoy taking care of my house and the beautiful gardens that I have planted.

Although keeping things clean is a challenge for me because of my ADHD, I rejoice when my house is clean and in order.

I live in a wonderful neighborhood. We have standards which are set by the HOA so my house and yard must look better than most.

So what is my problem with having a task list?

A great majority of my daily goals have no eternal potential.  My house will one day be gone and my gardens will revert back to weeds.

I have been guilty of placing things which have no eternal potential high on my priority list. In doing so, I have been rude, dismissive and impatient with people.

I have felt something stirring in my heart recently, a desire to continue to achieve my goals but not at the expense of a person.

Now when a person talks to me, I focus on them.

I silence the wicked task master of my brain. That horrid thought process which  has a sordid history of whipping me with guilt.

I shush the little voice which says, “You know you have better things to do than to talk to this person. My God, she is just a clerk at Walmart!”

“I may be the only person today who will treat her with kindness, she is more important than the laundry.”

“Well,” the taunting voice continues, “You know you have those CEU’s to finish and  this man that you are enjoying at the laundromat is NOT going to pay your bills if you don’t get a job as a nurse.”

My thoughts waged a counter attack. “That CEU article is not going to grow legs and run away. It will be there waiting for me, but right now this man is whom God placed in my life. I am thankful and happy for what I can learn from this man, which for the record was much more than I have ever learned from a CEU.”

I am a bit late in achieving this perspective. Most of my life I have been hounded by the task master which put things on an idol, failing daily in my pursuit for perfection.

There have been moments where I was successful in viewing life through an eternal perspective but I desire to make it my lifestyle.

Now that is a goal worth living for.