Last Halloween I met the “devil” in disguise. I was so incensed over the meeting that it took me a whole year to stop spitting fire about the occasion and share it with you.

The “devil” was a published author. He actually got picked up by a publishing house. Like that even happens anymore.

Doesn’t say too much for his intelligence. Anyone with a lick of sense knows self-publishing is the only way to go in this day and age.

We met at a restaurant for drinks and dinner. He was quite taken with my beauty.

We both shared some of our writing with each other.

As I was sitting across the booth from him I kept thinking, “This man is waving his hands in the air when he talks and he looks effeminate. In other words I was thinking either this man needs to come out of the closet or stop waving his hands like a girly girl.

Sorry, I like manly men. Can’t stand men who are feminine or insecure. They are way too easy for me to intimidate. lol

He told me all about why he hadn’t worked for an extended period of time. Apparently the “love of his life” had cancer and he had taken care of her until she passed on. Well, that was sweet.

His mother was also living with him in his condo. The first red flag started waving in the wind.

I told him about my family and my house.

I looked at his writing and was not impressed. He said he had won an award for that piece of writing.

That didn’t mean anything to me it was still a piece of crap as far as literary value was concerned. (Ok, maybe I am not completely done spitting fire)

He invited me to a Halloween party on that haunting night.

Thank God I had a Christian writing seminar to go to that night and I would have arrived too late. I politely declined.

Then he called me and wanted me to invite him over so he could see my house. He had already told his mother about me and she was thrilled that I was a nurse. He was thrilled I had a large house. I guess he assumed they could move in and take over. (wrong assumption)

The red flag was jumping up and down screaming, “Run, Run!  Either that or go buy a gun!” (My red flag thinks it may have a future as a poet laureate)

I could see this man had me pegged as Nancy Nurse. You know the nurses who marry men who are losers because they have such a compassionate heart?

Those same women have to work two to three jobs to support the man and his elderly mother. They then  sit at home and complain about everything under the sun.

In the state of Texas, Nancy nurses not only work themselves to death for men such as this but with Texas law being so ass backward the woman can lose her home in the process of being “Nancy Nurse.”

After I ditched the Halloween party idea I had an invitation for a weekend date from this man.

Thank God for my son. He had a water polo tournament. He is a rocking hot goalie and is awesome to watch.

This man said, “Well I want a relationship and if your son is going to always come first then I have a problem with that.”

Holy shit! Are you kidding me? This is the son whom I hadn’t seen for two years because he was living with his dad in Florida and I was going to spend every single second I could with my son since he moved back to Texas.

This man I had known for only two weeks at the most and he thought I was going to give him priority over my son?

HELL NO!

The red flag at this point was growing horns and looking very similar to the devil.

Well, I knew what I had to do. In fact I have had to do it more than once. I don’t mean to brag but I am really pretty damn good at doing this one thing.

No, I didn’t go buy a gun.

I did something nonviolent.

I wrote a “Dear John” letter.

I told the devil the truth. That I really just wanted to pick his brain as a writer and thought of him as a friend. I was polite I didn’t even mention the fact that I thought he just may be dating the wrong gender.

Well, let me tell you one thing that the devil does not like and that is being told the truth! I got one of the nastiest emails I have ever received with the exception of my ex’s third wife and nobody can beat her in the nasty department.

He slammed my writing. (Which may be a good thing considering who the source was) Then he attacked my belief in God.

I read the email and fired one back asking him after he read my email to cease all contact with me.

I am so glad I didn’t have even a second date with him.

Dating the devil is never any fun when you can hang out with God and your son. (Wow,  may be my red flag has some competition in that poet laureate race.) lol